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This way, that way, which way?

Been trying to work this out ever since I can remember. Some people just know from an early age what it is that they want to do, be, have. What they came here for. I have lived through fifty eight summers (giving my age away here), and still struggle to specifically know with any degree of certainty what it is that I want to do with my life. It’s been like a lifelong puzzle sent to drive me to distraction at times, trying to decide on a clear cut pathway to somewhere other than where I am just now. I have absolutely no idea of where I am going, and half the time am not sure what I am even doing that will help me get to that unknown destination. I flit from one thing to another like a Butterfly fluttering between one blooming flower and another, though a Butterfly has a purpose. Even a Caterpillar has a purpose.

As a youngster I remember wanting to be rich and famous. I am sure I am not alone here. I am sure there are many people on here who can relate, and possibly still want either or both of those things. The problem was I never really knew what it was I should do to actually achieve these things. Let’s face it, you actually have to do something of note to achieve that end. It does n’t just happen or maybe it does for some. I have spent my life doing one thing, and then another, and then another after that. Some would say I have been truly fortunate in the broad spectrum of experiences that I have in fact experienced. I have to say, I am of course truly grateful for all the wonderful things I have done and seen for they are many.

I am no longer interested in being rich or famous (actually I lie…’rich’ would be okay lol) and famous might be good too if it was good for the planet and helped humanity in some way or made people feel better about themselves but not rich or famous for the sake of ‘celebrity’ in and of itself.

That said, being ‘rich’ is not necessarily about having a healthy bank balance. We can be wealthy in many ways, and when I stop to think about it, I am by all accounts rich beyond words. I enjoy food, warmth, shelter, company, and freedom to choose what ever I want to do in life. I am lucky enough to be able to try all manner of things on my way to discovering my sense of purpose. I am still searching and not there yet but I am sure I am on my way to where it is that I am going. I shall trust the process, and enjoy the journey.

Life is a precious gift and sometimes we get caught up in all that incessant mind chatter going on in our heads that we forget to see our treasures which are right in front of us. I am the World’s worst at getting caught up inside my head, and then I remember to stop, breathe and be still and just for a moment here and there I find that space in the stillness, in the silence and somehow I know I am exactly where I am meant to be.

Just a little of where my thoughts are just now. Still working things out but feeling more grounded, content and grateful for in the grand scheme of things, I am truly blessed.

Back soon as the journey continues.

Stay well! Stay healthy!

Blessed be!

Liola x

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October 2020
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