Sometimes I just don’t know whether I’m coming or going. What a strange expression! Coming from or going to where? The truth is, I am not even really sure about anything just now. We are bogged under with old sayings that seem to have undefined meaning, and which don’t actually say anything specific about what it is that we are really feeling, and wanting to say. I am totally up in the air about this, that and everything, and all over the place. It is what it is until something changes to propel me further along my path.
Not sure where I am going with this or anything else just now. I seem to be on intermittent pause, Every now and then, I press the play button forward, and am determined to go into doing mode, only to find that within a short space of time, or no time at all, I lose momentum and once more I am on pause, and not doing anything of much consequence. Sometimes I feel as though I am going round and round in circles, like a dog chasing its own tail, exhausting myself but not making any progress forward. That trapped feeling is ever present just now.
One day merges mindlessly into another with nothing exciting happening. Not even sure what excites me just now. I keep trying to exercise my imagination muscle only to find it weakened by underuse. I think life has become too routine, and I am running on autopilot. They say, nothing changes, if nothing changes; I can vouch for that, and yet in reality, change is the only thing we can really be sure of. The World, after all is always in a constant state of flux which makes me think, we get stuck in a sort of ground hog existence because we stop being aware. We stop noticing that our treasures are right in front of us. We forget to appreciate the beauty of the world around us, and forget to count our blessings.
We get in our own way, and create obstacles as to why we can’t do something. We tell ourselves we’re not good enough, strong enough, beautiful enough, creative enough, slim enough, clever enough, rich enough or the times not right. You get my drift I am sure, and because we tell ourselves we are not enough or the time’s not right, guess what? We become our own self fulfilling prophecy ending up as drifters in our own lives, never reaching our full potential. The danger here, is that we may get to the end of our lives this time around never having sung our song and with our music still inside us. A depressing thought I know.
So what to do? There is much we can do to stop this from happening. We are often our own worst enemies and biggest critics but we need to become our own best friend and our own superhero. We need to be kind to ourselves, instead of hammering ourselves with negative self talk and insults. We need to treat ourselves as we would a good friend. Nurture ourselves inside and out. Nourish our minds as well as our bodies. We need to become our own project managers with us being the project in development. A work in progress as it were, where every step, no matter how small takes us towards our dreams, aspirations and goals.
We can and should do only one thing at a time, and do it as well as we can but more often than not we multi task trying to reach a level of perfection that we think we ought to, when in fact progress is what we should strive for rather than perfection. What a world we live in! If we’re not perfect and who in reality is, we beat ourselves up because we are anything but.
That’s it in a nutshell from me just now. Nothing much I know but sometimes we just have to notice, accept, acknowledge and then release those negative thoughts that we are thinking and let them dissolve into the ether. Make room in our headspace for something better to take up residence. It’s suggested that what we think about, we bring about, so with that in mind I shall guard my thoughts more carefully, and if something a little shadowy appears, I shall simply make peace with it and then send it on its way.
A snippet into my mind space at this time. There are brighter times ahead. My light has been dim for a while but time to let it shine once more. May take a while but that’s just fine.
May your light shine also!
© Liola Lee 2021
Image of Orchid manipulating light in a dark setting, captured 2021