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Sometimes…

Staring blankly at a smudgy screen, music legend Jimmy Ruffin playing on the CD player in the background singing of broken dreams, illusive happiness, sadness, confusion, broken heartedness and now departed. Such sad, soulful and haunting lyrics that speak volumes. Sitting or rather, more slouching at the dining table being watched by a single solitary fly or so it seems, willing words to come and be written to…to what? Not sure I really know. Coaxing and beseeching my Muse to come out of hiding. She has been good at playing hide and seek as and when it suits her.  Sometimes she refuses to play anything at all, just to add to my ever increasing frustration in my lack of ability to write anything I feel of any worth. There is more of a ‘hide’ attitude in her approach to this writing ‘thing’ no matter how hard I try to get the ‘seek’ bit spot on, as I search and search for the right words. Sometimes the words come all at once, all jumbled up and skewwhiff or more simply all over the place, that it is hard to make sense of them and then I must work at finding my focus so that I can get them into some sort of order onto the page in a more orderly pattern and print. Sometimes the words don’t come at all which is even worse. Every so often and without warning my dearest darling Muse takes it into her head to go AWOL. She has left the game but not told me that she is going off. I just find out when I sit down to my craft, only to find she is nowhere to be seen. 

Writing helps. The act of writing helps clear the crowded thoughts that sometimes gather in my already overcrowded head. Tap, tap, tapping my keys, or moving my pen in a swirling flow across the page provides therapy and a sort of meditation practice. A waltz of words when the Muse is willing and able. Sometimes, I find the words to write, the words to say what it is that I want to say or maybe just need to get out into the visible world. Sometimes the words have been waiting in the wings for such a time when they can come out and have their say. Such is the way of words.

This has been a year of great loss on many levels for so many people! Last year too! Loss here being the act of losing someone, something or both. Often when we lose something or someone, we can also get lost. Sadly, some people lose their way more than others, and just can’t find their way back to somewhere because their somewhere has become blurred and the boundaries not clear anymore. They may lose their sense of connectedness, or their connections become intermittent not through anyone’s fault but just because life is not always straightforward, if it ever was. Life can be turbulent and stormy with bumps and sinkholes in the road here, ahead and behind. 

Sometimes people get lost. They don’t mean to get lost. They just do. For some reason or rather unknown or guessed at reason or reasons, they decide in a split second, spontaneously to leave for somewhere else. Somewhere without pain because sometimes the pain hurts too much and can no longer be carried lightly, and the load just gets heavier and heavier. People are just people mostly trying to be the best that they can be, doing the best that they can do but when that load becomes so heavy that they can no longer bear the weight of it, something must give. 

In these unprecedented times there are people out there carrying heavy loads that are weighing them down. Sometimes we become so wrapped up in our own bubble worlds, that we fail to notice that someone else’s bubble has burst, and they are falling and in need of a helping hand, a smiling face, a listening ear. People do not always reach out to others for many reasons! So maybe it’s time to let people know it’s okay to reach out! It’s okay to ask for help!

Just wanted to highlight that connection is important. Compassion is important and empathy too

Everybody needs a helping hand sometimes! 

Blessed be!

Liola 

Dragonfly image captured a few years back in Arizona. Among other things Dragonflies have become a symbol for those who are grieving the loss of a loved one. They remind us that our loved ones are never very far away.

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