Life is strange, isn’t it?
As children we have dreams and aspirations in abundance about what we’ll do, be and have when we grow up. The reality is that things don’t always quite turn out according to plan, do they? We imagine we’ll conquer the world and are convinced we can do anything. We want to be ballerinas, movie stars, singers, astronauts, firemen, adventurers, bestselling authors and Wonder Woman.
But what we become instead is an underpaid invisible skivvy caught up in the fairytale trap. Is there such a thing? You bet there is! I’m talking about that woman who gives up on her dreams and helps everyone else with theirs. Puts herself at the very bottom of the list. We become less Diana Prince (Wonder Woman) and more Nora Batty: not by choice I’ll have you know.
We thought we’d be Cinderella with her dainty glass slippers but run around in well-worn trainers being the hurried women that we have become. We think we have found our Prince Charming, only to find that he morphed into a hybrid; Alf Garnett crossed with Victor Meldrew when we weren’t looking. No Klaus Mikaelson for us. And where did our very own Damon Salvatore go? Okay okay, I’m getting a bit carried away here with hybrids and vampires. Sometimes we need a bit of escapism to get us away from the domestic drudgery that has become our life.
And let’s not get into what happened to us. Once upon a time we were dewy faced young things with small waists and lovestruck attitudes with plenty of time on our hands. Now we look in the mirror, and it tells a different story, and we think “Oh my god…what happened, where did that girl I used to be go” and our oohs and ahhs have switched places with “FFS” and “What’s my life!”.
I would just like to add before I get lynched, that this is just my observations of some women. Women like me and definitely not all women. And this is just how I’m feeling at the moment. Sometimes we need to get things off our chest and out into the open, and then reset.
The thing is, sometimes we’re too hard on ourselves. For a long time, I felt like I wasn’t doing anything with my life; wasn’t’t getting anywhere fast and was running round in circles feeling stuck. But the truth is, I wasn’t really stuck, I just convinced myself I was. And if we tell ourselves something often enough, we start to believe it as if it were true. If anything, I was doing too much but I couldn’t see it. We’re seeking perfection (trust me, nobody’s life is perfect and mine definitely isn’t). We are our own worst critics too (why do we do that to ourselves?). We try to be and do everything for everyone else except ourselves. In the process we become drained, exhausted and lose our sense of self and purpose. Who are we? We don’t know anymore.
We would never dream of talking to anyone else the way we talk to ourselves. We would be mortified if we heard someone say to someone else some of the things we say to ourselves.
So, if that sounds like you…
What I want to say is, if you are feeling a little lost just now and don’t know which way to go; you are a little older; the kids have left home or are doing their own thing; your other half is busy with his own agenda (and probably finding his own way too, bless him), whatever it is for you. Stop feeling abandoned and powerless. Use this time to pause, reflect and press the reset button. Use this time to step back into your power. Because even though you may not think it, you have acquired a multitude of skills, talents and gifts along the way. I promise you that you have. Some of those gifts have been there all along and you have a wealth of new ones too if you only knew.
It’s time to discover all the wonderful things about you that are hidden in that Mary Poppins bag. Dig deep, have a little faith in yourself and you’ll discover that you can dance to your own tune, direct your own movie, fly high, rise from the ashes, put on some hiking boots to walk the Camino de Santiago and maybe even one day write a bestseller (those last two are for me and maybe you too). The point is, you’re not Nora Batty (bless her) and you might not be Diana Prince but just like her alter ego you are most certainly Wonder Woman in your own right: you just need to remember and take back your power.
Anyway, that’s my thinking just now for what it’s worth.
This writer, as in “me”, is on a mission. My mission is to help women like us remember who we are and reclaim our lives. You’ll find my books on the homepage if you’d like to read more.
If you read this and think someone else may like it, please share.
I thank you kindly for your time and hope you’ll stay in touch.
Blessed be!
Liola x
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